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  • Writer's pictureNancy

Don't allow desperation to ruin your career

Updated: Jan 28, 2020

…this evening I found myself thinking about how people panic in adversity and bad times, the time when the only friend seems to be one’s calm and composure.

How to calm a person who is freaking out frequently and getting nervous, loses his cool in adversity, small or big no matters?

Anyone can face this kind of question in life, it happens. Yes, it is not something abnormal but yeah, you should learn to control this behavior because when you lose your composure during bad times then automatically you are inviting big problems in your way ahead and everything seems to be just spoiled. You need to practice controlling this emotion in you. That comes with "fear"... fear of someone or fear of something or losing something. Fear can appear in any form. This is a frequent emotion, human feels it somewhere deep inside.

When you got fear, one more emotion is attached freely with it. Like one plus one free offer! That is fear of getting noticed that I am feeling fear in me. So, you never admit it not even in front of yourself. You simply deny it. Because these are the emotions that weaken a human being and no one wants to feel weak. It is a kind of self defense mechanism of human nature. This is a kind of virus for which we reserve the permission rights to remove it and we never remove it because we never admit it’s existence. First you need to identify a problem then only you can solve it.

Few people trapped with this emotion when it comes to his boss or super boss at work and a fear of being scolded/yelled at. You may feel under pressure. Timely you must maintain your calm when it comes to your work and career.

But the word "desperation " lies in the top list of negative emotion. This can drive a man crazy like anything. A man who is desperate, starts losing his composure and cool very quickly due to desperation. Desperation comes with anxiety, hesitation, tension, restlessness and most importantly fear of not getting for what one is desperate.

I understand desperation is a very strong emotion.

It is the self defense mechanism of human to say " No I am fine I am not freaking out And I am okay! It is just all the thing is going wrong in my way". Oh yeah! And this denying makes things worse. We all have experienced it in our life. Until we sit down calmly and counsel ourselves to admit the truth and order ourselves not to panic.

If any outside person says the same thing then it will have a temporary effect and mostly persists in front of that person only who is helping you. You can take it as an alarm to check your inner state. But if you do not admit it you will never be able to correct it. It will happen again may be near future. We need to get rid of any kind of fear in us just by deciding, or asking a question " is it really important to react on it with fear in me and does the fear will solve the issue and will it be fruitful for me?" Mostly you get answer as NO!

Suppressing the emotion will not help you to get rid of it. One should talk with someone close to you who can just listen you, understands you. Do not hide your inner self when you are facing a turmoil of emotion inside you. Because it results bad health, bad mood, bad relationships, bad situations, everything destructive almost.

So, the main question is … How you tackle with it?

Today I am going to tell you more than one solution. Pick the one that’s works best with you. Firstly, if you are feeling all negative vibes around you I will suggest change your place where you are right now. Go outside or inside depends on you where you find peace of mind. If you are not able to think of such a place then go to any shop and buy something.

I am sure you must be wondering what I am asking you to do. Just keep on!

Try this!

Do you have kids around? not necessarily of your own. Talk to any and ask “Hey! Kid, what are you doing?” “I like Dogs, do you like dogs?” Ask stupid and meaningless questions and trust me their expressions and replies will make you laugh.

"Kids are the free souls and big bundle of energy. Just play with them."

Or try this one! *For girls, specially

Go for shopping or Talk to your mommy or old friends are the best remedies. Just dial a number and start discussing different things. Tell them I am a little upset. Divert your mind to something which makes you good or better to be happy.

Watching TV show or movie can also work but temporarily. All the above can give you a break only.

The ultimate solution is sleep and when you wake up in the morning then counsel yourself. Talk to yourself freely like no one is watching you. Can you believe me that those people who talk to themselves considered to be to more intelligent to find the solution of their own problems? They are quick problem solvers and they all have a wow characteristic. Be the one. Talk to yourself trust me you don’t need anyone in this world but your empty mind can give you what exactly you want. Do it in morning only. Because that time your mind is just rebooted yourself. No trash, no cookies, no temporary file. All clean!

Now, you will ask surely What to talk? What to ask? What to tell?


Let’s start …

Tell yourself first, what all things are good in your life. Please count it on fingers. If you can count minimum 5, WOW! You are really a happy man!

“Make your life a better and easy place to live”

Why to choose tough things that are not meant for you? Especially when you are not ready to handle them. When there are so many easy options around you. Go for something very simple and enjoy it fully… beautiful lines with deep meaning.

I will tell you another way, just take a paper and a pen, a pen which should be smooth enough to write, eventually I want you to write more. Any language, no punctuation / No spell check and now just write and draw freely. Start writing everything which comes into your mind. This technique is called Mind Monitoring. You love it if you know how to express yourself. After a long writing piece, when you feel like STOP then I will request you to read it slow. Yes, read the entire stuff. You suddenly feel like you are talking to some other person. Analyse your thoughts. If necessary, correct them, not on paper but in your thoughts directly. Now finally the best part … tear that paper or papers if you wrote a long one. Tear them apart and through them into dustbin. You will feel good. See, you trashed all the negative thoughts and now you feel fresh and positive. 😊

Happy Reading! Stay Blessed and Keep in touch…

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